I can never trust her. That’s right, I can never trust the gorgeous, fetching, ultra-talented woman, but surprisingly this fact has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. Confused? Yeah, I know I would be too if presented with the previous conflicting statements. But please understand that this startlingly gifted woman’s natural assets prey incessantly and unmercifully on my inherent insecurities, and I could never in my adult lifetime feel that I am equal in stature to the temptress’s lofty beauty interwoven with not only a towering intellect, but a gushingly winning personality as well. Therefore it pains me to say I strongly feel I am not worthy to claim her as my lifetime companion. She is way way above me on the evolutionary ladder, thus why would/should she ever settle for me as a monogamous life partner when there are countless other men out there in Guyville who would make a far better natural match for her in terms of looks and capabilities? The brutally frank answer: She shouldn’t have to. And so despite her evident and professed love for me and the fact she seems undeniably smitten with a very ordinary Yours Truly’s underwhelming charms, I absolutely do not want to stand in the way of her finding a life companion who can satisfy her every desire and not just a thimbleful of them. Not only over the next six months either, but over at least the next forty years and maybe more.
Fred's Soapbox 