Best Friend Ever
By Frederick J. Blahnik
God, how I’m gonna miss him when he’s gone!!!
Miss ‘im, miss ‘im, MISS ‘IM!!!!!
Impossible to fathom. Impossible to comprehend. Impossible to even imagine right now…..
He’s undoubtedly been my best friend for, like…..for, like…..FOREVER!!!!!
My gosh, when I stop to think about all the glorious things we’ve done together over the years, just me and him, well…..my heart starts pounding and my eyes begin to tear up! Jeff has been more dependable and more loyal and more trustworthy than any friend I’ve ever had, and that’s saying quite a lot too. Yet it’s the truth, absolutely the truth! Whenever I needed a calming presence to settle my nerves or a shoulder to cry on when I was feeling downcast or a free ear to patiently listen to my litany of complaints at the end of a stressful day, Jeff was unfailingly there for me. Always my welfare first, never his. Always faithfully following just to my stern, never pompously leading just to my bow. Always the allegiant wing-man, never insisting on being bombastic Maverick. Always me, never him. Just a gem of a friend, the true embodiment of a dependable companion. Jeff would literally do anything for me and not stop for even one second to consider its inconvenience or potential dangers involved.
Let’s face it: I love him, I love him a lot; I really really do!!
My oh my oh my, the innumerable great times we’ve spent together over the years! Those times can never be edited or reconfigured or replaced…..
Yeah, just the two of us, me and Jeff.
Connected by an invisible tether for all eternity.
But why am I telling you this now and spilling my guts out to someone I can only reach coldly and impersonally through an electronic keyboard?
Because tomorrow it all comes to an end for the two of us…..
Yes, that aforementioned transcendent, decade-and-a-half-long relationship will be coming to an end in the space of just one grievous, compacted day on the calendar.
In one tragic, unimaginably sad morning, to be more precise.
And I just can’t stand to think about it right now; the thought is hideous; the thought is overbearing; the thought is incomprehensible!
You see, Jeff is going to be euthanized at 9:00 tomorrow morning down at the veterinarian’s office.
WHY?!?!?!
I can graphically envision the horrified, quizzical expression on your face as you incredulously read the previous sentence.
Well, as is generally the case, Jeff’s physical decline didn’t just up and happen overnight. His health has been slowly failing for several years now, but its rate accelerated greatly over the past few months—one could compare it to a giant boulder gathering more and more momentum as it screams down an alpine mountainside and not be too far off the mark. I kept hoping for the best, kept my head firmly buried in the sand akin to a frightened ostrich, kept turning a blind eye to what must have been plainly obvious to everyone around me: The fact my beloved dog was now fifteen years of age and his overall health reflected this unalterable fact; it was failing precipitously. Old age was not just slowly catching up to Jeff; it finally DID catch up to him and in a big way too, and this next thought probably goes without saying but I’ll go ahead and state the obvious anyway and blame it on the emotionally compromised state in which I currently find myself entrapped: There is no cure for old age—not now, not in the future, and not in some hidden enclave of my wildest, most wishful dreams either. If only there was, I would gladly flip open my checkbook right this instant and write out a check in any amount just to gainfully extend Jeff’s life.
But no deal; no such luck…..
That sort of fantastical stuff only happens in cheesy Hollywood movies that are made for kids.
Anyway, Jeff’s rapid deterioration in health left me with but two stark choices: Put an end to his awful suffering right now in a humane manner, or allow him to live out his “natural” life to its predestined conclusion while asking my best friend to endure the godawful spate of physical maladies which have made his existence so miserable and unbearable over the past few months. And, really, faced with these two clear-cut choices, my decision in the matter wasn’t difficult or time-consuming at all. I love Jeff unconditionally, and in this instance forcing him to put up with excruciating pain on a full-time basis for weeks or even months on end when the means readily exist to swiftly terminate that pain would be cruel, heinous, and serve no useful purpose. Euthanizing Jeff is the obvious thing to do as well as the only logical route to pursue.
But just don’t tell that to my heart!
Oh no, don’t try telling that to my aching, grieving heart right now!!!
Because my heart is busting wide open at the ventricles even as I type this.
Yeah.
Yeah, it really is and that’s no lie……
So the endgame is here now, I suppose, staring me squarely in the face like a coldblooded killer. Checkmate is inevitable. It’s all gonna come to an end for Jeff and, by extension, our cherished relationship tomorrow morning—all of the memories, all of the love, all of the fun times we had together, all of the highly treasured comradeship—and, ironically, that in itself will represent yet another unforgettable memory associated with my irreplaceable canine friend. But this guaranteed indelible “memory” from tomorrow morning will be diametrically different from all the others. Truly, it will be one I would give anything in the world to stifle and forget, although unfortunately the idiosyncrasies of our Homo sapiens’ memory-making process will undoubtedly render my desire mere wishful thinking.
Thus I guess I might as well begin emotionally preparing myself for life without…..
Jeff……Jeff……Jeff will be dead and gone in fewer than twenty four hours now, and those memories—both the overwhelmingly good ones together with that final heinous one—will then be all that remains of my best friend ever.
Fred's Soapbox 