Gone

…..one instant she was alive—laughing, smiling, joking, talking, loving.…living, yes, living life to the fullest!!!…..and then in the next instant she was not.  Just like that.  No advance warning whatsoever.  No premonitions or spirit warnings or anything stereotypical like you always read about in the literature.  No NOTHING, I tell you!  She was here one second and then in the next instant she was gone.  And life, yes, life—that mysterious thing (???) that somehow differentiates us from rocks and houses and fences and swing-sets—disappeared at that moment as well, never to return.  Just went away with no warning and no fanfare.  Like…..Presto Vanish-o!!!  Yes, that slippery little entity we know and worship as life was thereafter gone in a literal heartbeat and the blink of an eye.  So now I ask of you:  How on Earth can one realistically deal with the gut-wrenching suddenness of something happening like that?  Yes, tell me, how can you possibly be expected to rationally cope with a separation that earthshaking and that abrupt?  How can you realistically digest it?  How can you intelligently explain it?  I sure as fuck don’t have any answers for you and I’ll freely admit as much.  Because if I did know how—If I accidentally stumbled upon even a whiff of an explanation for the Mephistophelian turmoil I am presently experiencing—I sure as hell wouldn’t be falling apart at the seams as I sit and write this now……agonizingly wondering why I was put here on Earth in the first place just to stand by powerless and slack-jawed—being forced to witness firsthand an event so viscerally heart-rending and dream-shattering and…..and…..and………utterly nonsensical…..