- …..the two friends were sitting around doing nothing one Saturday morning following a hard week of work. These young people were celebrating their precious free time by drinking obscenely expensive lattes in a trendy neighborhood coffee shop. A day-old (week-old maybe?) newspaper was haphazardly sprawled out on the table before them, and it was opened to the obituary section. A raft of obituaries was featured in that day’s edition of the newspaper, most of them showcasing grainy photographs obviously taken scores of years earlier of septuagenarians and octogenarians who had recently moved past the realm of consciousness. One of the youthful loiterers glanced down at the newspaper and casually mentioned how unfortunate the situation was, wherein it seemed there was a disproportionate number of geriatrics who had recently passed away. Her tablemate scoffed at this faux concern, nearly choking on a swig of deluxe coffee as her face broke into a grimace. “Unfortunate?!?! Why is that so unfortunate??? Forgive me for saying so and I know I’m pissing on the gods of compassion and sentimentalism and all that other politically correct bullshit when I say this, but what you’re describing is actually good news for us younger people, Melissa! For each of these brainwashed old societal parasites that passes away, that just means our chances of ousting fuckin’ Donald Trump and his despicable pack of chauvinistic Republican cronies in next November’s election and thereby drastically improving both our as well as our progeny’s future just improved by one vote…..”
