- The wizened old veterinarian returned home at the end of a tiring day of work, all ready to eat a hearty supper and then kick back on his living room sofa to watch a good game of professional football on television. His wife was right there at the front door to greet him, smiling broadly and cheerily inquiring, “How did your day go, Sweetheart? Was everything fine? I bet you’re dog-tired after working so hard!!” The aged veterinarian glanced over at her as he wearily hung his cap and dirty jacket on a door-side hook, before responding in a laconic tone devoid of emotion. “Oh, alright I guess, Mabel…..when I spoke with you on the phone this morning I was beginning to feel a little hoarse, but after a while it went away and by this afternoon I was actually hale and hearty and felt like a new man!” His wife eyed him with dagger-eyed suspicion for several awkward seconds; she subsequently addressed her longtime companion in an irate voice brimming with sarcasm. “Feeling a little horse this morning, were you?! No wonder your attitude this afternoon reversed direction so suddenly! Can’t you be trusted alone with farm animals for even one lousy day, Clem?! What are you…..some sort of a livestock-infatuated pervert?!?!”
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Fred's Soapbox 